Confessions of a Non-Smoker

I love when you have that feeling deep inside of you that the best is yet to come!  That incredible feeling of energy and desire that wells up inside of your gut and spills out of you at every moment of the day :)  Things have been amazing these past few weeks!  For those of you that have following what has gone on in our lives these past few months, I never thought I would be "here."  At least this quickly.  It's amazing how wonderful our God is.  I know in my heart I was able step past our stumbling blocks, over come and become an even better woman because of it, because of Him and the many prayers being sent our way!  And for that.... I thank so many of you :)  My marriage is phenomenal, I am actively building our business (and doing a bang up job...if I do say so myself) and am Blessed in so many other ways.  

Sitting at a traffic light today watching a lady who clearly thought she was too cool for school, smoke in her Hummer;  I realized that tomorrow marks my 6 month anniversary of quitting smoking!  Yes, sadly I have to admit  that I WAS a smoker.  Crazy coming from a girl who broke her mom(s) cigarettes as a child, (my mom and step mom still smoke), and would constantly fight and complain about them smoking!  The love affair with those nasty little "smokey treats" first started my Senior year of high school as my girlfriend smoked.  It then got worse my Freshman year of college at Texas Tech.  Outside of our dorms, Chitwood/Weymouth, it was the "cool thing" to sit outside and smoke.  You met people and created friendships.  Many of my facebook friends will very vividly remember this!   Then add in sorority/fraternity parties and adult beverages and I was screwed.  Even in the years after graduating college I swore I would quit every year and each year I didn't follow through.  I hated being a "smoker."  Society makes you feel like a leper..and in hindsight, I was!  With all that we know about how bad it is for you, being a smoker is idiotic!  I will always have to say I smoked for 10 years.  10 years!!  GROSS!  

Not sure where the turning point was.  I knew through our two years of trying to have our first child that I would of course quit when I got pregnant, but that day never came.  I realized that my step-mom who was a smoker before she gave birth to my younger siblings, went back to smoking after she had her children.  She quit because she HAD to, not because she WANTED to.  Plain and simple.  October 21st I decided I was done.  Just like that... done.  I still become amazed at myself when we are out somewhere or drinking that I don't crave one.  I have not touched even one.  Firstly because I know how gross that first one will be (you smokers know what I mean) and secondly because I am sick of letting it run my life.  Now don't get me wrong.... I miss the talks sitting outside that smokers have.  Smokers have a special bond when they are outside all night at a party or bar, but it isn't worth it.  My health is the most important thing that I have in this world.  I plan on living a very long life and cancer does not fit into that plan.  

Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't all me.  I do give MASSIVE credit to my love of Bikram yoga last year and the 60 day challenge that I did.  When you are in a hot room at 105 degrees for 90 minutes almost every day for 60 days... all sorts of changes happen.  Including the ability to DESPISE anything bad going into your body.  I have given up Bikram (I promise I will post later about this) and have now started running at the park for exercise.  Its funny because I could never run long distances before because my lungs just couldn't handle it!!

A friend of mine has been asking me to go bike riding with her and last week I finally committed to going with her tomorrow.  Today I fought going all day in my head to find reasons why I should not being going tomorrow.  I'm TERRIFIED!!  I was praying all day she wouldn't call me back tonight with details.  But she did, and I will be at her house at 8:30am tomorrow morning.  Lord help me.  23 miles.  

I'm learning it is the fear that actually makes you grow.  Turning into a new person by fighting that "little devil" on my shoulder and pushing through and overcoming and trying new things no matter how much it may scare me.  The funny part is that I know that this fear will probably turn into something I love.  I was this terrified before trying Bikram as well.

All I have to say is I am SO THANKFUL I quit smoking because the best really IS yet to come :)